I've been working as a College/Career Counselor in Los Angeles for over eight years, specializing in students with mild/moderate learning differences, attentional difficulties, emotional issues and/or Asperger's syndrome. This job is a perfect match for my personality—a combination of project management (appealing to my undergrad business side) and counseling (appealing to my master's in counseling psychology side). I've now decided to do a little pro bono work by sharing what I've learned over the years in this public forum.
In my experience, the college admissions cycle is just as stressful for most parents as it is for their kids. I have also seen, year after year, that everyone's stress level drops significantly if parents step back from the process and let their kids drive (which you will hear me say time and time again is the way things should be done for optimal results). This advice may be contrary to what you hear from other professionals in the field. It may initially make you crazy if you are used to micromanaging everything for your child. And most importantly, it may result in things turning out differently than you think they should be. But that doesn't mean it's not all for the best.
I'm not suggesting that you be absent from the process, but one of our local college disabilities counselors with almost two decades of experience coined a relevant phrase that I love:
Be a hummingbird parent, not a helicopter parent.
Observe what is going on. Be poised and ready to jump in if necessary. But don't be such a presence that it interferes with your child's ability or motivation to navigate this process as autonomously as possible. Because if they can't fill out most of an application independently or find admissions information on a website, how do you expect them to be able to survive in college?
Thanks for stopping by. I hope you'll stay to see what else I have to say.
Best wishes,
Crystal Reed
